As a disabled man with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD), I have often been confronted with the stupidity and ignorance of other people. Certain teachers in elementary and middle school called me lazy when I could not meet the same physical demands as the other students. People have come up to me and asked, without second thought, “what’s wrong with you?” I have been pointed at and stared at while simply driving down the sidewalk in my wheelchair. At restaurants, the waiters and waitresses ignore me and ask my friends or family what I want to drink or eat like I am child unable to decide for myself. With the coming of COVID-19, the hurt I face has been compounded. The unwillingness of people to wear masks, or quarantine, or get vaccinated makes me feel ignored and uncared for. Others are willing to put people with compromised immune systems like me in danger to satisfy their own skewed political beliefs and desires. When faced with so much hurt, so much ignorance, your heart can grow black with bitterness. In its bitterness, it can tell you to hold a grudge against the world that has spurned you. It can tell you to lash out at those who hurt you. The bitterness can well up and become so bad that if the world were to burn, my disillusioned mind would not care. But, in the midst of this bitterness, I have found a better way in the teachings of Jesus Christ. I have found the way of forgiveness.
Jesus, standing on the hills of ancient Israel, gathered his disciples and declared to them, “Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matt. 5:39 ESV). The kind of slap Jesus is talking about is a backhanded blow to the face which in the Middle East expresses the greatest possible contempt and extreme abuse.1 He is telling his disciples and us today that in the face of extreme insult or abuse we are to forgive and continue to forgive in the face of continual insult and abuse. This kind of forgiveness is not just for the individual being forgiven but for the one doing the forgiving. To hold a grudge, to lash out in anger is to introduce poison into one’s soul. It allows the person who has hurt you to continue to hurt you and keep you bound in perpetual chains. The bitterness eats at you and eats at you until you become unrecognizable, until you become inhuman without the one who hurt you even being effected. To forgive is to choose to expel the poison from your soul. Choosing to let go of a grudge and hate is to choose inner peace and freedom from hostile emotions. If I did not choose to forgive and let go of the anger in my heart, I would be unable to function, unable to get out of bed in the morning.
Good work.
Michael, this is beautiful. I sometimes find the anger rising in me when people treat my wheelchair-bound husband in a fashion similar to what you have experienced; however, I choose to forgive and focus on all the kind people who are quite the opposite.
Your reference to Jesus reminded me of the quote “Forgive them, for they know not what they do. “
Thanks for the reminder.
Michael-I have watched you grow up through your Dad at work. This is a beautiful message-it’s remarkable that you have so much forgiveness in your heart after how you have been treated. It’s the right thing, and a testament to your wonderful, loving parents.
Michael, I love how you are dealing with forgiveness in your own life and the beautiful example it is to us. I do think people are often ignorant and don’t behave well. Forgive us our sins known and unknown but that does not make it ok. Thank you for continuing to educate us. I am so glad you choose not wanting to be bitter but better. Your reminders of why we need to forgive are spot on. Not doing so causes poison in our souls which only hurts us. When you talk about unforgiveness making us inhumane it makes me think about all the crazy violence in our society. Are these people acting out because of all the hurt they have experienced in their lives that has made them so inhumane to do the things they do. They need God to teach them forgiveness but they may know nothing about him. That makes me so sad.